Motherhood is not something I have experienced yet, so I don’t know what it is to be a mother. However, now in my thirties I am able to see through motherhood and I have a deeper understanding of my own upbringing, of my mother as a human with her virtues and her shortcomings, without any judgements.
Growing up we see our parents as invincible forces and as perfect figures. Now in retrospective, I see how our parents are as fragile as we are, but somehow they build the courage to show us the opposite. Mothers put on a shield to take the beatings of the world for us, and while we are growing up it's impossible to grasp the complexity of it. Motherhood is the most difficult job on the planet because it’s both a labor and an emotionally dense job that is guided by pure intuition. Intuition guided by their subconscious of experiences.
As the human beings that mothers are, all mothers are built differently. Some are built to take more hits than others, some are better communicators than others, but those others might be better motivators than the communicators. Some are built to be very affectionate, some are built to be more independent than others. All I know is that as humans we always operate with good intentions and to the best of our abilities despite societal ratings. All mothers are fighting their own battles. No human is perfect, no mother is perfect, but mothers are imperfectly perfect.
I may have many normal human insecurities, but one thing I’ve never lacked is self-confidence in pursuing what my heart desires. I owe this to my mom because all I heard while growing up was “So long it's making you happy you can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do”. This led me to believe that I was invincible.
Now I know she didn’t have an easy childhood, nor a privileged one, but the life she set out to create for my sisters and I was a life of opportunity, potential, and possibilities. She shielded us from the difficulties she experienced and broke the cycle to create a new one. I have very fond childhood memories, I have memories of my mom as my hero, as a beautiful independent woman painting her perfect world so we could live in it and have a bright future.
My mom was my first muse. I admired her fashion style while I was growing up. I remember looking at her and thinking, “she is so elegant, I want to dress like that”.I now know that my design aesthetic is shaped by this admiration of elegance and femininity that I grew up seeing in her.
Because of my mom I started listening to mantras, and because of the mantras this brand came to be. Originally spelled Ajai Alai meaning invincible and the power within in Sanskrit. Invincibility has been rooted in me since I was a child, and before I could recognize this I created this brand that simply meant that.